I Want to Remember This Later - "The Bard" by Thomas Gray.

Just an excerpt, but for some reason I like the image. This is the description of the bard, who's having a musical showdown with the army of Edward I.

"On a rock, whose haughty brow
Frowns o'er cold Conway's foaming flood,
Robed in the sable garb of woe
With haggard eyes the Poet stood;
(Loose his beard and hoary hair
Streamed like a meteor to the troubled air)
And with a master's hand, and prophet's fire,
Struck the deep sorrows of his lyre."

Grandma's Next to My Bed

I can't remember what I was dreaming last night, but I dreamed that I was woken up by Grandma speaking next to my bed. I squinted over there and thought I saw her. Then I really woke up. It was weird. I felt angry (what's grandma doing watching me sleep?), guilty (why am I mad at her? she just wanted to visit), disbelief, (you're acting like you actually saw her), freaked out (what the hell is up with my dreams?), and finally vacillated between shock (whaaa?) and laughter (this is what stress does to you).

Board games based off of books that I've found

 For those that prefer reading rules to reading books!*

Hamlet!
Pride and Prejudice
Tales of the Arabian Nights
Dune
Around the World in 80 Days
The Name of the Rose
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Genji
John Carter: Warlord of Mars
Star Viking
The Hunt for Red October
The Golden Compass
Dragonriders of Pern
Don Quixote
Hitchhiker's Quest for the Galaxy
I Say, Holmes!
Redwall
The Little Engline That Could.

*Note - these are not a substitute for reading, except maybe in the case of John Carter: Warlord of Mars.

I love a professor who can admit that he assigned a work which sucked.

Take that, James Beattie! Your poetry is horrible - go back to speaking against slavery in a time when such opinions weren't exactly popular.

No, I'm really enjoying the medievalist class, because we read some wonderful critical books that are so good that they are easily understandable but sharp. (Chris Brooks, The Gothic Revival - I highly recommend it. Look it up!) And then we read some really good literature. And some crappy literature. And even some crappy poems by what are considered good poets. (Blake's "Imitation of Spenser.") 

Choosing Optics

I went on a date yesterday. It was really fun, talked about the Dewey Decimal system, and so on... but I cannot see myself dating someone who dislikes Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. It should seem funny, perhaps, since there are so many preferences I wouldn't require a love interest to have, but two which might seem shallow would be somehow required. I guess it's because they are, even now, quite dear to me, like good friends almost. They're familiar refuges, part of my accustomed lexicon even. When I speak of a dwarf, I mean a Tolkien dwarf, when I think of Yavanna and someone in the same instance, it is a high compliment, and when I'm talking about little fuzzy things, chances are equal I'm talking about a Jawa or an Ewok (or even a dwarf, come to think of it, or a hobbit if you count their feet). They amuse me and move me. Is this a petty want? Perhaps. But it is mine.

But with one exception, each successive date has been better, as I better learn what I want. And with each time, though I worry for a brief time that I might be overinvesting myself in dating, I realize again that it's okay. I don't have to look that hard, and I'm happy if I don't. Because being happy at the start is the most important thing of all. And as I'm realizing, I enjoy just meeting people more than the contrived date, where there's no middle ground of compromise. I'd been fortunate before, with Leslie, and Mary, that I'd known them before we dated, and that it had gone so smoothly. More and more, I'm looking at this as an opportunity to socialize with interesting people. I want a relationship, but that's high on the list of Maslow's hierarchy for me. I'm good without. 

So... my want is sort of a choosing optic. It's a pun on a relation that doesn't exist, since "optics" and "opt" have different Latin word roots. It's the ability to see what I want, to choose the right lens with which to look at what happens. It's not infallible. Sometimes meeting new people can be a rough process, when one is looking for something more from an engagement than the other. So (despite the etymological separateness) having eyes for each other is just like wanting each other in the same way. Above my individual wants, that's what I look for. Beyond what I look for in an individual, that's what I want.

Words and Phrases for Desire

A friend told me about a lesson she did on Wednesday. She was teaching levels of diction, and so she had her students come up with high, medium, and low words for drunkenness. An example: inebriated, drunk, sloshed. I'm doing the same with desire.

Yearn / Hunger / Hanker
Pine / Long / Jones
Partial to / Want / Have the hots for
Fancy / Wish / Lust
Desiderate / Hope / Crave

Being a Vampire Is Serious Business

Perhaps I'm a big old party pooper, but here are the rules of vampirism, as I interpret them.

1. You can't go out in daylight. It's forbidden. You get dusted if you do. That is, you turn into dust, and then a matronly old street sweeper sweeps you up.
 2. Sure, you have powers of compulsion, and grave charisma, but that doesn't make you unspeakably beautiful, handsome, or sparkly. It's edgier than that, for lack of a better term. You're the beauty we dare not call beautiful, but are drawn to nonetheless.
3. You thirst for blood. Human blood. How you get it is your concern, but there you go. Human. That other stuff just doesn't cut it.
4. Perhaps the most important thing. You're soulless. There is a hole within you, but no whole. You can desire, but you cannot love. Or, put another way, you can approximate love, but that is a love that is never satisfied, that always needs more. There is no contentment, in other words. It's not that I think a vampire is a heartless human being. A vampire isn't a human being and is heartless from the start. It can even care for others, but it cannot do the whole undying love thing. In that sense, it's sort of like Data.
5. Because of that lack, there is desire, but it can never be filled. So you feed.
6. Never cook with garlic.
7. Stay away from wooden stakes.
8. Sucking blood is partly a euphemism for sex. Both will probably go on. But bleeding out the carotid artery is not hot.
9. You can turn into a bat! For all your prettiness and allure, remember that you are akin to one of the goofiest looking animals out there.