... to compose an e-mail for:
Strangers - 1 minute
Colleagues - 3 minutes
Acquaintances - 5 minutes
Most Friends - 10 minutes
Close Friends - 25 minutes
Leslie - 45 minutes
Professors - 1 hour
Now, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it seems like whenever I'm e-mailing a professor, I'm asking for something, and I'm very particular about having a certain level of formality and not inadvertently offending the socks off of them. So when I was suggesting topics, for example, it took plenty of time to think about how to phrase the topic before I even sat down to write the e-mail. Then I kept nitpicking at my presentation, at the opening (Dr. or Prof.? Should I use "Dear?"), and the close (Is "Thank you" too simple? "Best wishes?" "Sincerely" too formal?). They didn't teach us these things in basic letter writing.
And of course most of the time the professors shoot succinct responses that probably took them a minute to make.
To my closer friends and Leslie, in contrast, I just tend to write a lot. To colleagues, I tend to write only confirming e-mails, like "I'll be there," but I experience the same anxiety with addresses so it takes longer. For strangers, I don't care as much about offending them, and the hesitation probably takes a minute.
E-mail etiquette is one of those things that suffers from the lack of a standard to go by. Yes, there are common sense rules for communication, but it's difficult to know how seriously someone is going to take an informality in e-mail. I'd rather either know the perfect way to start and close an e-mail, or know that it really doesn't matter for anyone, rather than shuffle through the doubt. True, it's generally safer to be more formal, but what takes up time isn't so much the formality, as the fretting over it.
One example - in class on Wednesday, someone responded to the professor, "Well, Dr. _____..." and immediately he said, "P___" in a voice that was actually annoyed by the convention. Then he explained he just prefers to be called that by graduate students. It was a sufficient surprise that later, when I was writing the e-mail, I decided to call him "P___." Then, worrying that maybe it'd be different in an e-mail, I wrote a paragraph about how I hoped I wasn't taking a liberty I shouldn't in doing that, because he might want something different over e-mail.
I guess if there's any reflection here, it's that the business world just wouldn't be ready for me. Either that, or I'd never answer the 300 e-mails a day and get all my work done.
Oct 31, 2008
Oct 28, 2008
When a Brownie is Made Up of One Quarter Chocolate...
... is there cause for alarm when Leslie laughs fiendishly as she tells me this? Should I enjoy the brownie any less? Because I think I like it. Even if I can't eat too much at once.
Oct 22, 2008
The Fan Inside Me
So today in class, we were trying to understand the performative versus conative use of language as J.L. Austin puts forth in the aptly titled How to Do Things with Words. He's trying to contend against the philosopher's tendency to treat every utterance as a statement to be either true or false. For Austin, language is not always a statement of fact or opinion that reports (conative), but it can also actually perform actions (performative). Saying "I do" in a marriage or saying, "I name this ship the Queen Elizabeth" while smashing a champagne bottle against the ship would be examples of the latter (both examples on p. 5 of his book). By saying it, you do get married, and you do name the ship, if everything else is all good.
Anyway, to end a too-long setup, our professor first tried to give an example from her very specific upbringing. Then she tried to bring up a short story. "By that... who's that author. The one who wrote... 2001, and - " "Arthur C. Clarke!" That was me. There was a brief lull of silence. Then some laughter started bubbling out. "Ye-es," the professor replied, "Arthur Clarke." Then she said something to the effect that I was very quick and eager to give that answer. I can't help being so swift when she mentioned one of my favorite books, by one of the big three authors of science fiction. (The story she then proceeded to tell about was "The Nine Billion Names of God," where by making a computer program for some Buddhists to say all the names of God, programmers brings about the end of the universe, though they obviously didn't believe or intend to have that happen, and indeed were leaving the monastery to get away from the monks' dismay when they would "fail.")
It's been one of the difficulties in class participation though, to think about how much of my personal interest I can bring into play. Officially, I'm into medieval and early modern literature. And I am. I'm writing at least one, perhaps two (of three) term papers in that long period. But at the same time, I flirt with the nineteenth century Romantics (currently on my reading list from that period is Algernon Swinburne because he sounds so wild). I could a lot with twentieth century poetry and fiction. I'm decently well-read in science fiction and fantasy, and I know more about video games than a lot of people. And though some of these fields of study are less common than others, they do exist. For example I have been pleasantly surprised to find a book, The Meaning of Video Games by Steven E. Jones, that addresses textual study in video games, and uses a lot of contemporary theory to make it relevant. The author's an English professor. And from his writing, it's obviously a case of a hobby that crossed over into serious study, though to be fair he can bring a hefty number of literary allusions in too, including Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare. He definitely thought it through more than I did (to be fair, he's thought about it a lot more... in terms of a decade or two). But I could bring that up in class. That isn't a real problem, just going outside of what people assume I know.
No, it's doing so in a way that ... isn't literary? Or that others might snicker at? It's learning not to take myself too seriously in discussion. Like today in my other class, we were talking about Adam Smith and his Theory of Moral Sentiments. We tried to differentiate his sympathy from the sympathy and empathy of today. And A brought up Counselor Troi from Star Trek: TNG. She's an empath. She feels others' emotions as they feel them. And in the context of the discussion, that was cool, and it helped the professor understand what we were trying to say. Then (a few minutes later) he started talking about how Adam Smith says we want our joys to be shared as well as our sorrows, and how we want to reaffirm our joy by having others share in them. His example was his assigning a story for class and how having no one respond to it affectively was a disappointment. I wanted to bring up something from, of all things, an episode of Home Improvement as another example, but I held back. Too cheesy. Or maybe I didn't want people to know I watched Home Improvement.
For me, the toughest thing about classes is that I have a few too many locks on what I say in discussion. By the time I figure out the right way to say something, chances are someone's already saying something that does just as well as what I would've said. Or, perhaps worse, I'll filter myself and then find out that what I would've said would've been right. I prefer it when I say something and I get corrected. The correction is not the issue. It's getting over trying to get an absolute right answer by only consulting with myself. And, on the other hand, recognizing that what I have to say, if not any complete answer, may help others get to it, and may not. It's like learning to share again.
So, here on out, how about I try to undo one or two of those locks. Not all of them... there still is such a thing as propriety, but I've got to stop doubting I have interesting things to say before I find out whether any of it's actually interesting or not. (Wrap your head around that one.)
Anyway, to end a too-long setup, our professor first tried to give an example from her very specific upbringing. Then she tried to bring up a short story. "By that... who's that author. The one who wrote... 2001, and - " "Arthur C. Clarke!" That was me. There was a brief lull of silence. Then some laughter started bubbling out. "Ye-es," the professor replied, "Arthur Clarke." Then she said something to the effect that I was very quick and eager to give that answer. I can't help being so swift when she mentioned one of my favorite books, by one of the big three authors of science fiction. (The story she then proceeded to tell about was "The Nine Billion Names of God," where by making a computer program for some Buddhists to say all the names of God, programmers brings about the end of the universe, though they obviously didn't believe or intend to have that happen, and indeed were leaving the monastery to get away from the monks' dismay when they would "fail.")
It's been one of the difficulties in class participation though, to think about how much of my personal interest I can bring into play. Officially, I'm into medieval and early modern literature. And I am. I'm writing at least one, perhaps two (of three) term papers in that long period. But at the same time, I flirt with the nineteenth century Romantics (currently on my reading list from that period is Algernon Swinburne because he sounds so wild). I could a lot with twentieth century poetry and fiction. I'm decently well-read in science fiction and fantasy, and I know more about video games than a lot of people. And though some of these fields of study are less common than others, they do exist. For example I have been pleasantly surprised to find a book, The Meaning of Video Games by Steven E. Jones, that addresses textual study in video games, and uses a lot of contemporary theory to make it relevant. The author's an English professor. And from his writing, it's obviously a case of a hobby that crossed over into serious study, though to be fair he can bring a hefty number of literary allusions in too, including Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare. He definitely thought it through more than I did (to be fair, he's thought about it a lot more... in terms of a decade or two). But I could bring that up in class. That isn't a real problem, just going outside of what people assume I know.
No, it's doing so in a way that ... isn't literary? Or that others might snicker at? It's learning not to take myself too seriously in discussion. Like today in my other class, we were talking about Adam Smith and his Theory of Moral Sentiments. We tried to differentiate his sympathy from the sympathy and empathy of today. And A brought up Counselor Troi from Star Trek: TNG. She's an empath. She feels others' emotions as they feel them. And in the context of the discussion, that was cool, and it helped the professor understand what we were trying to say. Then (a few minutes later) he started talking about how Adam Smith says we want our joys to be shared as well as our sorrows, and how we want to reaffirm our joy by having others share in them. His example was his assigning a story for class and how having no one respond to it affectively was a disappointment. I wanted to bring up something from, of all things, an episode of Home Improvement as another example, but I held back. Too cheesy. Or maybe I didn't want people to know I watched Home Improvement.
For me, the toughest thing about classes is that I have a few too many locks on what I say in discussion. By the time I figure out the right way to say something, chances are someone's already saying something that does just as well as what I would've said. Or, perhaps worse, I'll filter myself and then find out that what I would've said would've been right. I prefer it when I say something and I get corrected. The correction is not the issue. It's getting over trying to get an absolute right answer by only consulting with myself. And, on the other hand, recognizing that what I have to say, if not any complete answer, may help others get to it, and may not. It's like learning to share again.
So, here on out, how about I try to undo one or two of those locks. Not all of them... there still is such a thing as propriety, but I've got to stop doubting I have interesting things to say before I find out whether any of it's actually interesting or not. (Wrap your head around that one.)
Oct 5, 2008
It Turned Out to Require Numbers
1. For my birthday, Leslie made me a chocolate chip cookie. One huge chocolate chip cookie that fills an entire baking pan. It came out great; I've already had two portions, and after dinner tonight will have a third. It's like getting the best of both cookie and brownie. Last night, I also got a pint of Half and Half at a local drinking establishment - her treat. The top half was Guinness, and the bottom was Stella Artois. It was great, because even though Guinness is great, it is rich and dark, and to have it counterbalanced by a decent light beer like that ... I recommend it. Mmm, food.
2. Even though I'm not sure whether I'm doing anything for Halloween, I've been half-thinking of getting a costume together. Something that would be able to be worn during the day, possibly. I was thinking of heading to a great thrift clothing store which had quite the selection of jackets, coats, dress shirts, slacks, hats, canes, scarves, and so on. Maybe I could dress in all green, spray my hair red for the day, and walk around with a pipe? Or I could get a black leather jacket and pretend to be Neil Gaiman? Or put together a Dumb and Dumber-esque formal wear? Go for the1920's bartender look? Play someone from Carnivale? What I'm saying is that, if I'm going to go that route, I need some ideas. A bonus if I could then wear some of the clothes in other situations.
3. Along with the call for suggestions that way, I need suggestions for how to use my Mr. Bento Stainless Lunch Jar (AKA thermos), courtesy of Diana. What foods should I put in there for lunch? I'm pretty sure I could do soup, cooking it that morning or maybe making it the night before and then heating it up. I guess I could do rice and some kind of stir fry, or part of whatever I made last night. But otherwise... what are some easy ways to make some lunch without making it much more difficult than a sandwich and banana?
2. Even though I'm not sure whether I'm doing anything for Halloween, I've been half-thinking of getting a costume together. Something that would be able to be worn during the day, possibly. I was thinking of heading to a great thrift clothing store which had quite the selection of jackets, coats, dress shirts, slacks, hats, canes, scarves, and so on. Maybe I could dress in all green, spray my hair red for the day, and walk around with a pipe? Or I could get a black leather jacket and pretend to be Neil Gaiman? Or put together a Dumb and Dumber-esque formal wear? Go for the1920's bartender look? Play someone from Carnivale? What I'm saying is that, if I'm going to go that route, I need some ideas. A bonus if I could then wear some of the clothes in other situations.
3. Along with the call for suggestions that way, I need suggestions for how to use my Mr. Bento Stainless Lunch Jar (AKA thermos), courtesy of Diana. What foods should I put in there for lunch? I'm pretty sure I could do soup, cooking it that morning or maybe making it the night before and then heating it up. I guess I could do rice and some kind of stir fry, or part of whatever I made last night. But otherwise... what are some easy ways to make some lunch without making it much more difficult than a sandwich and banana?
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