Things I Have Pondered Doing at Graduation

1. After the ceremony, when I'm exiting, whip out a wizard hat from under my robe, put it on, and shout jubilant spells in false Latin.
2. Wrap my honor cord around my belt.
3. On my name card, write "Say this like Albus Dumbledore does with Harry's name in the movie version of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - go for batshit crazy."
4. Wear platform shoes to the ceremony so that I'm the tallest one there.
5. Interweave my tassle with red licorish for a tasty snack during the boring parts.
6. Go to graduation as a wizard judge, while going to Halloween as a graduate.
7. Adopt a stentorian chortle to use at improper times, slapping my knee, touching my nose, and winking at the person next to me. "Eh? Eh?"
8. Dye my hair and wear a disguise kit (glasses + fake nose + mustache) so my family can't find me.
9. Tape the day's newspaper puzzlers to my hand, and try to do the jumbled quotation entirely in my head so it takes most of the two hours.
10. Factor the time on my watch, so that whenever the time hits a prime number, mention to someone next to me, "It's a prime time to graduate!"
11. When the seventh speaker gets up to speak, get up with them and stretch a little.
12. Slip sheets of paper in, but instead of them being puzzles, make them quotes, poems, pi to the hundredth digit, whatever. Try to memorize it.
13. Text family with "OMG IM GRADUATING." (Who wants to take bets that this will happen, even though they've said no cell phones?)
14. There's a trick in math where, if you have a number, and add it with the number with its digits reversed, and repeat if necessary, one will often end up with a palindrome. (42 + 24 = 66; 102 + 201 = 303; 127 + 721 = 848; 168 + 861 = 1129, 1129 + 9211 = 10340, 10340 + 4301 = 14641.) I will attempt to perform this trick with 196.
15. I will compose a poem. In my mind. Extra points for poems of 10 lines or more, metrical verse, or particularly luxuriant free verse. Sonnet gets an 70. A villainelle gets a 90. If I can perform a sestina, I win forever. So if you see me frantically writing afterward, that's why.

What I'm saying is that it'll be long, and I'll need ways to amuse myself.